How can you Ease the Suffering?

Are you suffering with something?  An emotional pain? A physical pain?  A trial in your life?

Sometimes suffering results from wrong choices and can be self-inflicted and other times, there is no explanation for it.  Asking the question “why?” is really just going to feed the suffering you may be going through because the truth is that sometimes, many times, there is no answer to as to “why” suffering happens.  It just does.

Suffering comes in a multitude of forms.  We can argue over which form is more painful, and one person may say “my emotional trauma from the divorce is worse than your physical pain from car accident” while another may say, “my childhood scars from my abusive parent go deeper than the scars on your body from the burns in the fire” but at the end of the day it all amounts to pain.  The question really becomes, what can I do with this pain to cope and get through it in the best possible way?

I would like to say something really ground breaking here so that I can ease whatever you are going through, but the truth is, I can only tell you what I have witnessed. 

What good can suffering do?

1. It brings compassion.  Whenever we go through something traumatic or painful, we gain a compassion about something or towards someone that we would have never gained if we had never suffered.  Compassion is such a useful tool and it’s the foundation for many organizations around the world to bring peace, feed hungry children, make medical breakthroughs, prevent child abuse and stop unnecessary suffering.  How can this not be good?  The deepest compassion that exists can only be understood by those who have themselves suffered.  Many great foundations were created by someone who greatly suffered first.

2. It brings a shift in our focus.  Without suffering, we are free to focus our attention on anything we want.  Anything.  Even if that focus comes at a cost to us, is unhealthy for our spirit or the people in our lives.  When we are brought to our knees in suffering, we can become closer to people instead of things or ideals.  It’s at moments of suffering that we can begin to notice the people that we may have taken for granted before.  We may cherish them more.  We may use our time differently, avoiding things that brought us grief in the past, turning a new leaf and trying something we wouldn’t have before.  We can gain a new perspective, a different focus on life and if we stay open and positive, we can find new meaning and joy in places we wouldn’t have before. 

3. It reveals truths and brings people closer.  When we suffer, we come to know who our true friends are, who we can count on and who loves us enough to be there when we are hurting.  It can help strengthen relationships.  It can heal relationships. It can connect us with people we wouldn’t have otherwise become connected to.    

4. It enables us to help others.  We can become an inspiration to someone else through our suffering.  When we push through the pain and hurt and find healing and spiritual growth, we inspire others, we motivate others and we give courage to others who may also be suffering with something similar.

5. It teaches us about faith and hope.  Faith is believing in something that you cannot see.  Hope is having an expectation that something good will happen.  When we suffer we have the option to stay in our suffering or allow our spirit to have a new belief about the situation.  Many people get tired of the suffering feeling and when they do, faith and hope are waiting to take over.  When you are left with the choice between self-pity and pain or faith and hope, which would you choose?

6. It brings us closer to God.  I know some may argue it brings them further from God, but I would like to clarify that God is not the source of your suffering.  People that can recognize this and realize that God can be one of their biggest comforts during times of suffering will get to experience one of the most precious gifts – peace.  You can have peace in your suffering when you hand it all over to God and ask Him to work in your spirit every day to lift you up, carry you forward, give you courage and protect you as you walk through your suffering.  There is no harm in praying and believing that God will carry you through.

So, what can you do to get through the suffering?

 When you are suffering with something, each day can bring you new challenges.  Emotions can be like a roller coaster ride, one minute you’re up and the next you’re down and then next you’re spinning around feeling out of control.  To head off some of these unpredictable twists and turns and ups and downs…

1. Look for the daily blessings.  If you look hard enough each day, you will find hidden blessings.  They are always present, we just have to look and be aware they exist.

2. Practice gratitude.  Ask yourself, what or who can I be grateful for today?  For example, if you have someone who is there for you in a time of suffering, then you have something big to be grateful for!  Don’t discount anything from your gratitude list.  It’s all important and will lift your spirit once you notice that you do have many things to be grateful for.

3. Stay positive.  Negativity is like a dooming plague that drenches the soul and keeps it down.  Shake off the negativity, keep a focus on being positive in whatever trial you face.  Say positive affirmations to yourself, surround yourself with positive messages from books or programs or motivational speakers.  Keep positive, uplifting and compassionate people at your side.

4. Surround yourself with things that matter and make you happy.  If you have a favorite color, wear it.  If you have a favorite blanket – lay in it.  If you have a little child, play games with him or her.  Get your focus on things that comfort you and take your mind off your pain.

5. Help someone else.  When we are suffering, we tend to want to stay in our cocoon of pity, but it’s the opposite that we need.  When we find a way to be of help to someone else in our life, we can distract ourselves long enough to actually feel better!  It doesn’t have to be something elaborate.  It can be as simple as a conversation with someone who you know is lonely. 

We can’t avoid suffering, pain or loss, but what matters most when we are in it is how we walk through it.  Our choice in how we walk through it can make all the difference in the length and degree of suffering we will experience.

Sheri