When life throws you LEMONS…

Have you ever found yourself inspired by a perfect stranger?  Lured in by an unexpected conversation?  Overcome by someone else’s story?  This happened to me recently as I sat in a waiting room at an RV (recreational vehicle) dealership.

I glanced over as a buzz of conversation hit my ear and noticed my husband making light dialog with an older gentleman.   My chatty husband seemed to become more and more engaged in this man’s story as the time passed. The man walked away for a brief moment and I asked my husband what was so intriguing about this man and the reason he was waiting.  Was he waiting for his RV to be fixed?  Was he there to do a trade-in?  Was he there to buy a new RV?  I was curious.

Usually when I wait in waiting rooms, I typically keep to myself and wait quietly, but this particular day, I am glad I did not.  When you open up to other people there will always be lessons or opportunities presented.  I admit that some of us can’t be bothered, don’t feel like it, are into ourselves or just can’t spare the time.  That is how we miss out on both the gifts we have to offer and the gifts that other’s can offer us.

What I learned from my husband as he revealed to me this man’s story was incredibly amazing.  My husband told me the man was eighty years old and had been married to his wife for fifty-nine years.  They had always loved camping and had travelled all over Canada and the United States with their RV.  Province to province and state-to-state they travelled for decades exploring North America together with their children and later on with just each other.  Their camping days concluded about eight years ago when he entered his seventies.  A mutual decision they made as they both aged and found other priorities taking precedence.  Then about four years later, his wife had a terrible accident through a fall that broke her neck and left her a quadriplegic.  She was completely paralyzed from the neck down with only a small amount of movement in one of her arms and hand.  She had just enough feeling to operate an electric wheelchair. For four long years he watched her sit as life continued to pass by.  He took care of her everyday, tending to her needs and making sure she was comfortable.  As he sat by her side he began to feel a deep desire to do more for her.  He knew he could never have her back in the capacity she was in before the accident, but somehow that didn’t stop him from finding a way to make the best of this undeserved circumstance. 

As my husband was about to continue the story, he was swiftly called away by the parts guy.  I sat and waited still entangled in my mind by this story, still curious as to why this man was here when all of the sudden I saw him approaching me.  He walked up to me with a big smile on his face and said, “I guess your husband must have filled you in.” “Yes, he did”, I said with concern.  Then with great excitement, he enlisted me to come out into the yard to show me his new RV.  I was a bit puzzled as I walked with him, wondering was he going on a family trip with his grown kids who will help him with his paralyzed wife? Was he leaving his wife at home?  Was he taking a nurse?  How could any of this be possible?  And never mind even all of that, look at how old he is!  Is he crazy!?

All kinds of doubtful and curious thoughts came to my mind as he proudly walked up to an old Class A motor home that was all shined up and being prepared for him.  As he took me on the tour he pointed out how well kept this motor home was, how it was likely the cream of the crop when it was brand new and how much he thought his wife would like it.  He enthusiastically explained his plans of how he was going to modify it for her; where she would be braced in for travel, where he would store her wheel chair and how he measured each doorway to make sure it would accommodate her.  He was paying attention to every detail to ensure her needs were met and that every comfort would be given to her.  He said, “I just couldn’t sit there and watch her look out the window anymore.  I had to do something more for her.  I know we can’t travel the country like we used to, but at least I can give her a different view from this camper.  At least I can take her to new places and let her enjoy life again. I want to do what I can until I can’t anymore.”  His words melted my heart.  All my preconceived ideas about what made sense and what didn’t were tossed out.  Vanished.  I realized that this man’s love for his wife was much deeper than anything I had imagined.  He wasn’t crazy at all.  He was brave.  He was in love.  He was selfless.  How many of us would go to this extent for the one we love?  He could have just caved into his circumstances and said, well this is what life has brought me so I will just live with it.  He could have given up inside, but there was something special about him, something that I needed to see, maybe something that needed to be shared with all of you in this blog. 

He was going to make his journey a selfless and wonderful adventure for the one he loves until he couldn’t anymore.  He was making the very best of unchangeable circumstances and until you have been as brave as him, as bold as him and as selfless as him, you cannot judge him.  This is also what I learned. 

Sometimes unfair things happen to good people.  Sometimes we can’t control the outcome or the circumstance, but we are always in control of our actions as a result.  We are in control of our attitudes.  We are in control of what we do with our circumstances.  He decided to live again.  He decided his wife needed to live again.  He decided it was time for both of them to have a different view of things and this was his way of creating it.  He didn’t seem to care about the length of time left, he was only focused on the fact that he had time and that he was not going to waste it feeling sorry for himself or letting his adventure with his wife of 59 years stop. Life threw lemons at him and his wife and they could have allowed that to sour them.  They could have chosen to sit with the same view, never embracing what else could be.  Instead, they are choosing to make sweet memories through a new vision on their life.

As we walked back across the parking lot, he had one final bit of advice for me, “Enjoy each moment” he said, “and make special memories with your family that will last a lifetime – that’s what life is all about and they will never forget it.”

I will never forget him or his story and the many lessons hidden within it.

Sheri