WILL YOU LET A LITTLE CRITICISM STOP YOU?

Whenever we pursue something new, whether it’s the pursuit of a dream, a personal change like having more patience (I am still working on that one), or taking a step to try something that fear has kept us from in the past, we can become exposed to the criticism of others and ourselves.  For some of us, that criticism may be the small tipping point that leads us to put the brakes on and give up. 

It seems that whenever we step out of our comfort zone to try something new, there are people waiting in the shadows to jump in and “help” by offering their “opinion” or “advice” or “constructive criticism” .  Depending on how we filter this intrusion we may end up waving the white flag too soon.  Taking this so called “help” too personally can be dangerous. Ignoring the source and our own personal journey is also dangerous. 

Though some of their intentions may be pure and well meaning, the danger comes in when we allow those negative comments or that constructive criticism to force us to stop doing what we are meant to do.  It’s dangerous when we take the opinions or advice of others as an attack on our efforts. 

Do you sit and stew over comments or criticisms that others make about a bold step you are taking?  Do you allow those comments or criticisms to be a truthful guidance in determining your path and whether to keep going or give up? 

Webster’s dictionary defines “criticism” as “a judgement or review”.   Sometimes this is offered by someone in the way of a negative comment, advice or an opinion either invited or uninvited.

Here’s 14 ways to deal with criticism:

1. BE GRACIOUS - Thank the person for his or her opinion or advice.  Most people are really just trying to genuinely help and as you build confidence in yourself you will know the difference between advice or opinions that will serve you well and ones that won’t.
2. REMAIN CONFIDENT - Refuse to feed those feelings of insecurity or lack of confidence that may come up.  Feelings are temporary.  Stay focused on what you intend to achieve by stepping out and pursuing something new or making a personal change.  Remember your end goal.
3. ONE STEP COUNTS - Review the evidence so far.  To me, the fact that one even “tries” something new is a step towards success.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is already good progress and don’t let one negative comment take that away. 
4. PERFECTIONISM IS A TRAP - Tell yourself that perfection was never part of the journey.  If your standard is set too high on yourself and you lack patience, then you will miss out on the joy of the journey.  Once this happens, frustration almost always results and maybe to the point of driving you to just give up. An outside criticism or one from within can be the tipping point if your expectations are set too high.  Be realistic. 
5. MISTAKES MAKE US BETTER - Mistakes make us better and sometimes others will see them and point them out.  Mistakes are essential to our growing process so welcome them and just figure out what you can learn from them.  Don’t sit and stew over them.
6. EMBRACE IT – Welcome and embrace criticism and even apply the advice you know will bring you to the next level in your journey.  This is where you may have to filter out the tone in which the advice may have been given, the source and the timing.  Sometimes we are meant to get a criticism for our own good.  It’s not a pretty situation and we may resist or take offence at first, but sometimes we need a jolt in an uncomfortable way so that we can grow.  If everything was always great and wonderful and no one ever challenged us or pointed things out, we would just stay the same and never get to experience all that life can offer us.  We would surely stay in our same patterns and work away at our own pace never changing for the better.
7. KEEP GOING!  Keep doing what feels right and what you know is the right thing for your journey. If you’ve had a set back because you’ve allowed a criticism to get you down, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue on.
8. LOOK AT THE SOURCE.  If you get advice or criticism from people who have never dared to make a change or step out of their comfort zone or do what you are attempting to do, then you may have to acknowledge them as a poor source. Your job is not to try to convince them or please them by following their advice or taking their criticism to heart.  Your job is simply to acknowledge the source and determine if the advice fits your situation or not.
9. DON'T COMPARE!  No two journeys are the same in this life.  We all have different backgrounds, paths and personal situations.  What works for someone else may not work for you.  We all have a unique journey and we are unique individuals. 
10. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL.  A criticism is not a personal attack on you or your ability.  People making the criticism are often oblivious to using kit gloves when dishing it out.  And do they really need to?  If you can become more determined and confident in your personal path, then no amount of criticism will force you to falter.  You can learn to welcome the advice, apply it if it’s in your best interest or brush it off without changing your determination.
11. FIND ENCOURAGERS AND BE AN ENCOURAGER. Surround yourself with people who will keep you boosted to keep going.  And when the opportunity arises, always encourage someone else who may need it by offering a positive compliment to boost his or her confidence.
12. REMEMBER YOUR OWN INTENTIONS.  Your intentions may not line up with the feedback of others.  Other’s may misinterpret your intentions and therefore offer bad advice or off the cuff comments.  Remember why you are pursuing the change or the dream in the first place. 
13. DON'T BE SO SERIOUS!  We aren’t expected to be so serious about every little detail all the time.  Lighten up and have fun with your journey.  Take some people’s advice with a grain of salt.  You may actually find some of the advice and opinions comical!  You may find that your mistakes are comical.  It’s all good.
14. INCLUDE GOD.  Lean on God for direction, clarity and to clear your path.  Let God’s wisdom guide your steps.  Meditate and go to God when you need figure out if a criticism is grounds for you to make a positive change or if it’s just an unreliable judgement from the wrong source.  This is where prayer comes in and silencing your mind so that you can hear the truth of the matter.  Ask yourself, “what does God want me to learn from this criticism?  Is there a lesson I am supposed to learn or apply?”.

Let criticism build you up, not tear you down.

Here’s to thick skin!

Cheers,

Sheri