Are you WEARY and DOWN?

Are you in a slump of sadness?  A restless rut?  Stranded in a desert of depression?  Or maybe a pit of pity perhaps?  Feeling stuck in a dark place with no way out?

Do you feel that life has got the best of you rather than you are getting life’s best? 

Are you weary from wallowing? 

If so, then it’s time to make a move or two…

Pretend my words are my hands and let me help pull you out of that rabbit hole.

#1 – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

When we get into a slump of depression our first mistake is that we think no one can relate to our pain.  We feel isolated and misunderstood.  We are tempted to separate ourselves from the rest of humanity as if we are completely alone in our pit of despair.  I assure you that even though you will trick yourself into thinking you are alone on your island of hopelessness, you are not.  Countless people feel the same as you and some even worse!   

#2 – MAKE NEW CHOICES

When we get in a state of depression, we have started to make choices we may not even be fully aware of.  Many of our choices contribute to our state of sadness and may even help us to stay there.  We may choose to have certain doom and gloom thoughts.  We may choose worry over trust.  We may choose to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have.  We may choose to focus on what’s making us sad rather than things that can bring us joy.  We may choose to eat our troubles away rather than make healthy choices that make us feel good.  We may choose to sink into the couch so far that we get stuck!   We may choose to push people away.  We may choose to stay in bed all day and have a pity party.  When we are in a space of depression, we don’t want to see the reality that our choices contribute to us remaining as we are or can help us move beyond it all.  We like our sadness a little too much sometimes. 

If you want to feel better, then you have to make better choices.  It will take a bit of going against the grain at first and it might take a while, but keep pressing on with the new choices, the new mindset, the new thoughts or practices and eventually everything will start to align in a more positive direction.  Start with physical things like getting off the couch, getting outside, going for a walk, reading something uplifting and inspiring, calling a friend or meditating and praying.  It will take a purposeful shift in what you choose to focus on and do daily.

# 3 – LET PEOPLE IN

Everybody needs somebody.  And that somebody is often there but we don’t always see it.  We want to pick and choose who that somebody is and when to let them in and when to hold them back.  We have to let go of the control and start being vulnerable so people can help us. 

Sometimes we just need someone to pull us out of our own little world.  Even if our world may appear small and incurable at this moment it does stretch beyond the hopeless space in our own minds, beyond our deep sorrow and beyond the problems we are facing.  Sometimes we need someone to just listen to us and validate our sorrow.  Sometimes it’s just a simple conversation with a friend who gives us a small dose of encouragement.  Other times we may benefit from a firmer kick in the pants from a good friend to jolt us out of our narrow-minded pessimism.  Our tendency may be to push people away and not want anyone’s help.  As Dr. Phil would say, “So how is that working for you?”.  I assume it’s not making you feel any better or you’d not still be in your pitiful state.  Remember, to feel better, you need to make better choices. Reach out to someone you trust.  Just start.  If your pain is so deep, consider a therapist and see where that goes.  If you already feel like you’ve lost it, then what more do you have to lose by including people who can help you?

#4 – CIRCUMSTANCES DON’T DEFINE PURPOSE & MEANING

We become deeply rooted in a mindset that fools us into thinking our circumstances are what define our day, our future or our purpose and meaning.  The truth is that they don’t.  Circumstance can change like the wind at times, but we can remain stable amongst those fluctuations.  We can be a pillar of strength rooted deeply in hope, faith and trust or we can let our dismal ever shifting circumstances define how we move forward or if we move forward at all.  On the flip side, when our patience runs thin from certain unchangeable circumstances we may be tempted to give up, throw in the towel and deem our life has no future purpose or meaning.  Many times, when we feel we have lost all hope, we expect some cosmic force to simply drop a new meaning or purpose from the sky on to our lap.  It is better to live each day letting God reveal to us in each moment what our purpose is rather than looking at it with an all or nothing perspective or having a blanket approach.  When we realize that each day is a new beginning, bringing forth new opportunities however small they are, we can begin to write our day’s story from a fresh perspective with new hope.  Look each day for the little stuff that brings you purpose and meaning.  It could be as simple as filling the bird feeders so the birds get fed and you get to watch them.  When you break down purpose into smaller chunks that aren’t defined by circumstances, it will be easier to focus on how the moment or task at hand can bring back meaning into one’s life.

#5 – GET BUSY BEING A BLESSING

When we are down on life, we spend a lot of time in our heads mulling over our sad story.  We become so engulfed in our circumstances that we may risk becoming somewhat selfish.  One of the quickest ways to forget our own problems is to go out and be a blessing to someone else.  This can be hard work when all we want to do is sink into our couches, but it’s surprising how this simple act can truly lift us out from our personal pit.  We may be tempted to think we have nothing to offer especially when we are feeling low and down about life.  Even if we aren’t at our best in the moment, sometimes in our sadness we are the somebody who has something to offer another person who may be suffering just as much as we are.  Someone may be out there right now in the same sad state waiting for you to come along and toss them a life line.

Pick up the phone, send the text, say the prayer, meet the friend or whatever you are being nudged to do.  Whatever you do, don’t sit it out in your place of darkness feeling alone and fooling yourself into thinking that you will never see the light of day again.  Being a blessing to someone else is one of the most constructive ways to take our mind off of ourselves and feel better.

Final thoughts…

You may not always have a choice in how you got into your slump of sadness, but you do have a choice as to whether or not you will remain there and for how long. Just start with one small change each day in what you’re doing, what you’re thinking and what you’re focusing on.

Blessings and hope,

Sheri