Who Stole the World’s INTEGRITY?

Do you remember a time when you could trust a simple handshake, eye wink or head nod as someone’s promise to keep their word?  Maybe you are far too young to remember these days or maybe they are just so far in the past that we have all forgotten what it means to have the simple quality of integrity.

If you just google the word integrity, you will likely see this definition pop up…

Integrity is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions. Wikipedia

If you don’t think integrity is important, then just think back to a time when someone told you they would take care of something or do something and they never did it.  Maybe they led you on and dragged their feet before the big let down.  Maybe they never got back to you and left you hanging.  Maybe they just did the opposite of what they promised.  Think about the shear disappointment, frustration and bewilderment you felt because you were directed to believe something that was far from truth and had to find out when the promise was broken or never materialized. 

We’ve all experienced it…

A few years ago, I bought a brand-new dryer.  I waited almost 15 years to make this important and expensive purchase and wore out my old dryer (and my husband who kept it alive) in the process.  It came with a standard 1-year warranty.  Sure enough, within the first year it started making a curious noise sporadically that sounded like a rubbing noise that wasn’t normal.  It didn’t happen every time, but when it did, I instinctively knew that parts inside were going to wear out faster than they were supposed to unless it was fixed.  I started by calling the place I purchased it at.  I was told “we only sell the machines; the manufacturer is the one in charge of the warranty”.  So, I moved on to contact the manufacturer.  After many frustrating attempts of being on hold, getting disconnected, finding my way through a maze of phone prompts and options, I finally found a human to explain my problem to.  Unsympathetic to my problem after realizing the machine was still under warranty, they put me through to a repair tech who created a work order.  To make a long story short, the work order never materialized into someone actually showing up to fix my machine.  I was belittled multiple times for reporting a problem that was sporadic in nature on a machine that could still dry the load (not deemed inoperable).  I made many attempts to obtain the status of the open work order but was always met with no reply.  I became so frustrated I just gave up because it started to consume me.  I convinced myself that it wasn’t worth the fight because the dryer though it was making a strange noise at times, was still working.  Now my warranty is over and today my dryer stopped working completely after that original noise got progressively worse.  Of course, it was very gradual and the final let down of an inoperable dryer happened long after the warranty had expired.  Needless to say, I will never buy this brand again.  They have lost me forever as a customer.  I wonder if they even care?

This is just one example of lack of integrity.  A company not backing their product or helping their customers.  Stringing them along until they no longer have any obligation to do anything about the product they produce.  I think also about the dad for example who doesn’t keep his word to his child when he says “we will spend some time together and play a game on the weekend, I promise” only to have the weekend come and go with dad off fishing and drinking with his buddies.  Or maybe it’s the friend who you were in the middle of sharing a deep hurt with as they interrupt you saying, “someone’s at the door, I will call you back right after they leave, I promise” and you never hear back from them.  You see them a week later at the grocery store and they pretend everything is fine.  Another all too common example is the crooked investor whom you have put your life savings with only to find out later they have run off with all your money and there’s nothing you can do!

Do you wonder if people who have no integrity even care?  I suppose they may not in many cases.

If everyone in the world started to behave without integrity, what kind of world would we have?  We would likely see a lot of people being taken advantage of, a lot of waste, a lot of sadness, a lot of broken hearts, a lot of depression and a lot of self-centered people.  Sadly, I am seeing this more and more often.

I believe that what goes around, comes around.  Other’s may refer to this as “karma”.  Be careful how you conduct yourself in this world or you may find yourself surrounded by scoundrels, thieves, dishonesty, and shifty people who will stab you in the back at first opportunity.  You can only attract what you are giving out.  If you are giving out dishonesty and lack morals and ethics you will ward off people with integrity or at least they won’t stick around for long. 

How do we have integrity?

Here’s Some Simple ways to have Integrity:

Do the Right Thing Even if it’s Hard

Too many times we let our clouded judgements, feelings and assumptions get in the way of simply doing the right thing.  For example, I may not feel like keeping my commitment to meet a friend for a walk in the park, but I know this friend is going through a tough time and needs me.  I said I would go, but as the commitment approaches, I am seeing other things to do that are more appealing and I really don’t want to go.  If I let integrity take over, I won’t give into my wishy-washy feelings, my lack of desire or my distracted mind.  I will do what I said and with a good attitude!  The pay off will be solidifying the friendship, being selfless which will return to me in my time of need.  It will also feel good to do the right thing in the end, even if up front it may not seem like it.  There is a sense of relief when we go against the grain and do the right thing regardless of how we feel at the onset.

Honor Your Word

This is the same as keeping your promises.  Don’t say things you don’t mean.  Think about whether or not you can keep a promise before even making one.  And if you put your foot in your mouth or over extended yourself by promising more than you can give; clear and consistent communication will help navigate you back to being a person of integrity.  Don’t string people along because you want to make good on your word but realize you can’t.  Just be honest and tell them truthfully that you overcommitted or promised something you shouldn’t have.  Don’t just end it there.  Figure out how you can properly make it up to them so that you keep your integrity.  It may mean postponing something, or modifying or replacing what you originally promised with something of equal value to the person.  For example, I may have promised to spend quality time and go for a bike ride with my daughter, but I hurt my knee.  This doesn’t mean I can’t do anything with her. If she really wants to go for that bike ride, I may have to delay it till my knee is better or I may have to offer her another option of equal value to her like baking her favorite cookies with her.  Either way, I will honor my word to spending quality time with her. 

Be Honest and Truthful

Some people live by a standard that what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Or it was just a little lie.  Some even think that being dishonest is the only way to be because you can’t get ahead otherwise.  Others are mindless and will just do what the crowd is doing whether it’s right or wrong, honest or dishonest.  They have no moral values or strong ethics directing how they conduct themselves.  Their internal moral compass spins in whatever direction the wind takes them and they never take control.  When you act dishonestly or refuse to be truthful, paranoia creeps in and you start to question everyone around you. Your view becomes distorted and people who have integrity become a threat.  This may be because you know they live by a morale standard of truth that you do not.  It may be because you become afraid your dishonesty will some day be exposed and you will have to give up your selfish ways which you don’t want to do.  It may be also because you don’t want to be accountable to any one for your actions and you know that people with integrity strive to be accountable.  Honesty is really a beautiful thing because it takes the weight off of worrying about other’s integrity around you. There is a freedom we can experience when we are truthful.  We are free to fully love, free to be there for others, free to be our true selves, free to live a good life, free to let go of pain, free to be accountable and have no worry in doing so.  It’s like a big weight gets lifted off your shoulders when you live an honest and truthful life.

Put Other's First

Love is the ultimate way to integrity.  Love is not selfish and always guides us to put others first.  When we go out of our way to help someone out, we get the reward of being someone who is helpful and self less.  Then when we have needs, they are always met.  We don’t need to worry about ourselves when we take care of others needs as long as we do it with proper intention and love.  Putting other’s needs first helps us put love into action and brings up our moral gauge several notches.  Being consistent in this area allows you to be a reliable source for other’s in need. 

You have probably heard this statement many times, “You can’t give away what you don’t have”.  I completely disagree with it and here’s why…

I learned long ago that when I feel discouraged or unappreciated, I have two choices.  I can sit with that feeling and feel worse OR I can go out and give what I wish I had and feel better.  I learned that when I feel discouraged, I should go out and encourage someone.  I will go out of my way to tell them “you’re awesome” or “that’s a great idea” or “you can do it” or “I believe in you”. 

When I feel unappreciated, I know I need to go out and appreciate someone.  I will go out of my way to say “Thank you!” or “I highly appreciate all that you do each day” or “I have deep gratitude that you are in my life”.  This puts other’s first and above my own feelings.  In turn, I feel better and people can rely on me to be an encourager with integrity.  I want to be counted on to motivate others and help them feel appreciated.  It raises my ethical behavior without any pain when I take notice of all the good people around me and tell them how much they mean to me. 

Be Consistent

One of the most important things we can do to be a person of integrity is be consistent in our conduct.  Don’t just pick and choose when you feel like being honest, or keeping a promise or doing the right thing or putting other’s first.  Learn or strive to be this way in every area of your life, at all times and with every person.  We aren’t expected as humans to be perfect with all this, but there’s a huge difference when our actions and words line up and when they don’t.  People with integrity can be trusted and counted on and live with a confidence that others don’t.  You always know where they stand and you feel a sense of security in their presence when you are looking for that one person to confide in.  You know they won’t bend and run and gossip if you share something private with them.  You know that if you ask them what the right thing to do is, they won’t steer you in a dishonest direction.  You know that if you ask them the same moral or ethical question today, tomorrow or next week, the answer will be consistent and they will always live by a certain ethical and moral conduct.  This gains them the ability to be thought of as someone with wisdom which is the ultimate quality that comes out of integrity.

I often wonder how our world would look if everyone knew what integrity was and had a strong desire to have it.  How could our world be if people conducted themselves with integrity in every aspect of life from work, to marriage, to friendships to parenthood and beyond.

We may have better made products, better run companies, better workplaces, stronger friendships, happier families, less strife and worrying, increased happiness, and more peace knowing that we live in an honest world where people do what they say and live with strong moral and ethical values.

Don’t prey victim to lack of integrity around you.  Start with asking yourself if you’ve been living a life of integrity and even if that answer is “yes” we always have room for improvement every day with every action we take, in every situation we encounter and with each person we come into contact with.

If you aren’t sure whether you are a person of integrity, ask yourself some basic questions like…

Am I honest in all areas of my life and with the people around me?

Do I keep my word and promises?

Are my intentions pure and have everyone’s best interest at heart?

Do my actions display honesty and truth and line up with my words?

Can I be counted on by others?

Am I accountable for my actions in all areas of my life to the people around me?

Do I live by a consistent ethical and moral standard that I will not comprise when challenged?

Does my ethical and moral standard stem from a place of love?

Be a person of integrity the world needs more people like this.

Sheri