Is it time to tell the JUDGE to step down?...

According to man-made laws, the role of a Judge is to keep order. Furthermore, Judges must be impartial and strive to properly interpret the meaning, significance, and implications of our man-made laws. It would make sense to me that becoming a good Judge would take a great deal of time, effort, fortitude, patience, practice, discernment and wisdom. The task of being “impartial” alone is a feat in and of itself.

What kind of “Judge” presides in you?

We all have a Judge in us and we all have many Judges that surround us in our daily lives.  These Judges aren’t holding a gavel ready to sentence you to a cold prison cell or slap you with a large fine, they are holding other things.  Things like self-esteem, assumptions, negative attitudes, prejudice, self-righteous thinking, criticisms and division.  They watch every move you make and every move someone else makes.  They often don’t wait for the case to be built, the facts to be heard and all sides to be considered before passing their judgement.  They are swift to penalize.  These Judges are inside each and every one of us.  The Judge inside is often swayed by popular opinion or appearances, but the odd time they make a ruling against what the crowd views as correct or pleasing, they face living in alienation, solitude, conflict or rejection.  Sometimes this risk is worth it.  In fact, it may be worth it every time if you strive to be impartial.  It can often be the road less taken, but that means there will be less traffic jams, accidents, and pot holes to get stuck in as you journey in life. 

It takes years for our internal Judge to develop negative habits and think wrong thoughts.  We are bombarded with mindsets, prejudices, worries, stigmas, assumptions and fears all throughout life from parents, peers, media, friends, school and the workplace.  It’s no wonder there’s conflict in our world, our schools, homes and inside ourselves.  This is not about healthy judgement like knowing when to use defensive driving to avoid an accident or ending a friendship with someone who is unhealthy to be around.  This is about how we view others and ourselves and the standards we set that are not based on love, but based on what the world thinks.  Some people get very stuck on this point.  They think they are “judging” a situation or person based on love, but when you get right down to it, you find out their motives don’t line up with love and are actually self-centered.  Their motives are coming from pre-conceived notions, selfish concerns and lack of information.

Have you improperly judged someone or yourself?

Judging others and ourselves places unnecessary pressures, creates an invitation to make false assumptions and destroys the pathway for love.  Love cannot exist when the Judge is standing in its way.  One of the biggest reasons we judge others is to avoid looking at ourselves. If we focus on ourselves, we may find that we aren’t so perfect after all and that we actually have some work to do on our own attitude to be more peaceful and loving in this world.  Additionally, if you are allowing the Judge in you to lay harsh punishment on yourself, it’s often because you don’t want to do the work it takes to change or you are stuck in a poor me, victim mentality.  You know you need to make a change to feel better, but you have taken up the hobby of building excuses and self-doubting and have tried to take the “hamster wheel” shortcut which just takes you back around to the same place again and again. Sometimes the Judge inside is harsher on you than on those around you.  If that’s the case, you’ll need to determine what has made you think so badly of yourself, break out of that mindset (that will take time, patience and hard work), become your own encourager and get off the hamster wheel of negative beliefs that leads nowhere.

There’s hope for the Judge in all of us…

If you really want to be more peaceful inside, more approachable to others and a more loving person (wow – those are truly some great qualities!) then you may need to ask the JUDGE in you to step down!  Here’s how:

Motives Matter

When the Judge in you gets stirred up, check motives.  Are your motives for judging coming from a place of love or do you have some negative thoughts surfacing about the person (or yourself) because that’s what the world thinks is right or wrong? Is love more important than thinking you’re right?  What is the complete loving thing to do in the situation or for the person (or yourself)?  Does your mind trick you into thinking, if I can sway this person to change and line up with what I think is right, then I will feel more comfortable and happier?  Ask yourself “am I looking to change someone else so that I will feel better?”  If so, your motive is your problem!  Not the person you are judging!  

Change Your Worldly Attitude and Thoughts

Stop following the popular opinion or the crowd.  Start thinking thoughts for yourself – good thoughts, positive thoughts, thoughts that will give you peace about the person or situation.  You have a choice in what you choose to think.  Yes, you can help it!  Ask yourself, who is doing my thinking for me – the world or me? Think about this, if God walked on this earth next to you while your Judge was presiding, would He truly approve of your thoughts and attitude?  Remember that God is all about love and love is selfless and unconditional.

Get rid of old Mindsets, Theories and Assumptions

Clear out everything you are used to thinking if it’s not going to be helpful to you or the other person.  We spend an incredible amount of energy and time on assumptions about people and situations.  Old mindsets and theories about “proper living” or “proper dressing” or “proper this and proper that” are passed down in families, cultures and through generations but that doesn’t make them right!  In fact, if they are inflexible, they are most definitely intolerable which means they are bias.  Does that sound fair and impartial to you?  Don’t carry negative traditions forward.  Break those habits so they don’t seep into the next generation.

Change Starts with YOU not Someone Else!

Determine what changes YOU need to make and don’t worry about other people.  Your journey on earth can be stressful or peaceful.  Choose peaceful.  How do we choose peace?  By not fighting battles that cannot be won because they are not ours to fight and by choosing to place energy where energy can best serve us.  When you work on yourself and you start to change your own thoughts or behaviors, you see those around you in a different light, dynamics change and the things that bothered you so much yesterday about a person don’t seem to matter anymore. You will have more peace when you change you and accept others for who they are and where they are at instead of forcing your views or judgements on them and trying to change them to meet your standards.  People will feel more comfortable and open around you.  No more walking on eggshells.

Acceptance is Key

We all have an urging in us to feel accepted.  The action starts with how we treat and think of others.  Even people we aren’t too fond of.  You have a choice to be kind and open to everyone or to pick and choose based on your prejudices and assumptions.  Which kind of person do you think has more friends, is more likable, has more opportunities in life and feels more love within themselves and for others?  Be that person.   We don’t have to agree with each other all the time to be open and accepting of one another.  You don’t give anything up by accepting someone else for who they are or where they are at in life.  You can still have your opinion and choose differently than someone else, but the beauty of acceptance is that so can they!  And unless they are hurting someone or themselves then what’s the harm in that?

Nip Those Bad Thoughts in the Bud

Say “No!” quickly to the Judge in you when he or she tries to pass a quick judgement on someone.  We are so used to doing this, it can almost be impossible to catch ourselves doing it.  Judging for some of us has become a such a quick reaction we don’t even realize we are doing it!  As you become aware of the negative thoughts you let your internal Judge subject you to, you will know when you’re Judge is out of line.  It will feel uncomfortable and there will be a voice inside you telling you to “Stop it!”.  Listen to that little voice!

Get to Know the Heart – NOT the Hair, NOT the Clothes, NOT the Credentials (or lack of) etc.   

Get past appearances – for one, they don’t last and for two, they mean nothing when you get to the core of a person’s heart.  Appearances are anything that are on the surface, like what a person looks like, the car they drive, the career they have or people they know.  In God’s world, appearances are meaningless because he seeks our hearts not our appearance so if you want to be more “God like” than follow his lead.  Since God is perfect, I think he’s a good example to follow! 

Are You Lacking Facts and Information?

Are you only seeing part of the picture?  The part you’ve deemed as important?  That may be your problem right there!  We often lack the full information or facts about a person and don’t wait to get them for ourselves before we rush in with our judgements.  Each person has a story, a past and a potential.  We can’t even begin to comprehend this if we have not walked a day in their shoes.  We have a hard-enough time just managing our own story, our own past and our own potential so what gives us the right to think we are equipped for someone else’s?  We have no right to allow judgements, assumptions, mindsets and theories to rule our thoughts about people because we will never have all the facts.

People will always give you a million reasons to judge them.  Whether it be because of their choice in clothes, hair color, car, food, customs, religion or music.  If we spend all our time with the Judge inside us that has been shaped by so much false information, we will miss so many beautiful people, opportunities and moments.  We will waste time feeling rotten inside instead of peaceful.  We will truly miss the love around us and block its very existence.

It’s time to tell the “JUDGE” to step down!

As the holiday season approaches, with family gatherings, mall shopping, church events and parties you will have an abundance of opportunity to work on the Judge that presides in you! 

Happy Holidays to all,

Sheri