PERSONAL GROWTH is like learning to ride a bike…

Throughout life, you are always faced with opportunities to learn something new, do something new and be challenged to grow.  Ultimately, the choice is yours to take.  If you want to see good changes happen in your life, then you must be encouraged to take risks, do things that may seem uncomfortable or foreign and break unhealthy patterns that are holding you back. It can involve going through some pain.  It can involve facing fears.  It can involve a change in how you think or the approach you take towards yourself, a situation or someone else.  When you commit to doing this type of work in yourself it leads to a better understanding, more wisdom, peace, happiness, joy, confidence, freedom, stronger relationships with yourself and others and leads to more open doors in your future.  The struggles towards achieving personal growth are kind of like learning to ride a bike…

For a few years now, my husband and I have encouraged our daughter to learn to ride a bike.  We’ve provided the bike, the training wheels and our time over the years.  She just wasn’t ready.  She was upset every time she got on the bike and it didn’t do what she wanted it to do.  She gave up too quickly. Does any of this sound familiar to you?  Have you been given opportunities, developed an expectation of the outcome and at the first sense of frustration, given up?

Needless to say, we accepted she wasn’t open to learning at that time and it wasn’t until recently we decided to present the opportunity again.  Often in life, if you miss the first chance to learn some important lesson that will lead you to personal growth, the universe seems to present it again to see if you are ready yet.  You are often given more chances than you may realize if you are open to them.

My daughter had developed preconceived notions about learning to ride a bike.  She had been harboring some fears and made some assumptions about her own abilities that were inaccurate.  All of these feelings prevented her from the desire to learn.  It was uncharted territory and she already made up her mind what may happen. She shared some of these worries with us and we encouraged her to just give it another try.  Because we had both been in her shoes at one time ourselves, we felt equipped to acknowledge her concerns, but knew the fun and freedom she’d have if she didn’t give up this time.  There are always blessings on the other side of a struggle that you may not be aware of.  They can’t be discovered unless you do the hard work it takes to break your own chains that are holding you back, such as facing fears, preconceived notions and inaccurate assumptions.

My daughter came up with all kinds of excuses not to learn how to ride a bike.  She’d say, “It’s too much work” or “It’s uncomfortable” or “I can’t do this, it’s too hard and I am not strong enough.”  Sound familiar?  Do you come up with excuses and say similar things to yourself or others when you are faced with a struggle?

As her parents, we lovingly disallowed this attitude and insisted she give it another try.  Sometimes in life, you will find friends or family who just want the best for you doing the same thing when they can see the benefit for you on the other side of a struggle.  Do you have someone in your life that is a positive encourager to you?  Someone who just wants the best for you?

After some resistance (are you resistant to change?), she made the decision to try again.  It all started off very slowly.  She had to first struggle with how to just sit on the bike and balance herself.  This took several attempts.  Similarly, learning how to balance your emotions as you struggle to overcome something difficult or make a positive change in your life can be challenging.  One minute you may feel happy and relieved and the next you may feel sad and defeated.  It takes a gentle patience with yourself.

Once she found her balance, she just pushed her feet one at a time along the ground to move the bike forward.  She moved the bike with her feet on the ground for several meters.  We saw our job wasn’t done.  She still needed our encouragement and support.  When you are going through struggles, it’s important to include people in your life whom you trust to help you and who will give you good advice and guidance (meaning they have everyone's best interest at heart).  My husband helped her turn the bike around and walked it back up for her several times to the same spot she started and encouraged her to do it again.  She had to do this same thing over and over many times.  Each time was a little better than the last, but there were frustrations and disappointments along the way.  She would throw the bike down at times and walk away.  This was okay with us, as long as she came back and tried again.  You can’t fail at trying; you can only fail if you give up or never try at all.  When you decide to overcome a struggle or learn something new or do something different, it never happens quickly.  It never happens on the first try and you are going to experience frustration and redundancy and your task will become persistence and perseverance.  You will have success and set backs at the same time, but the key is to keep going, keep moving forward until it gets easier and easier.  The set backs will become fewer and fewer.

By the end of the evening, she had gone from sitting on the bike and balancing, to walking the bike a few meters while sitting on it, to her feet off the ground and on the pedals biking her way down the lane way.  This built her confidence.  She experienced a sense of joy and freedom.  This is what can happen for you as you move through the steps and keep taking opportunities to grow, learn to face fears and change thought patterns that are binding you from your future.

She got so much joy out her success, that she continued to ride her bike as night approached until we couldn’t even see her in the lane way anymore!  She went from “I won’t” to “I can’t” to “I will try” to “yes I can” to “I am doing it!”  That is how it often happens.  You can stay stuck at any spot for a while, but eventually a shift inside you can happen if you just keep working on it and are not influenced by your own preconceived notions and fears.

The journey doesn’t end here.  It was great that she finally had the confidence to get on the bike and ride it, but she quickly realized that she couldn’t go anywhere except into a tree if she didn’t learn how to turn, or bike up a hill or negotiate when to stop.  It’s true with everything you learn or every change you make and struggle you overcome.  It doesn’t end with one success or with one task or action crossed off your checklist.  The first success, task or action is just the foundation to build from.  Awareness steps in when you grow and it’s this awareness that guides you into the next step.  If you embrace this awareness and take further steps, growing and learning, then more blessings will be revealed.  It also takes practice.  Nothing new can stick unless you keep working at it.

I believe that one day when she is on her bike enjoying the freedom and joy of bike riding with her friends or family, she will look back and be grateful she took the opportunity when it was presented, remained persistent and persevered through all the challenges she faced.  It has built her character, her confidence and opened up doors for her in the future. 

This struggle has blessed her with the ability to have compassion and maybe help someone else some day that may also be scared to take his or her first steps towards learning to ride a bike.  That is another powerful blessing you are given when you go through a struggle – the power to help another with the same struggle!

In life you will be given opportunities to grow.  You can choose not to take them and never see what’s on the other side.  Maybe you will end up with regrets or always feel left out or short changed.  Personal growth means learning new ways to do things, new approaches to situations or the people in your life, new ways to think about things, enduring struggles with patience and persistence and it carves out a path for your future that holds more opportunities for wisdom, joy and freedom.  Even if you resist at first, the universe will be kind enough to give you another chance.  The struggles will be real and the successes will be real.  The awareness and compassion you will gain in the end will carry to the next level – a better, happier, healthier you! 

Sheri